Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
