im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
