Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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