and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
