i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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