She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
