drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
