you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
