I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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