I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
