its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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