I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
