grandma shit on top of the toilet
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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