it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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