Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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