I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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