all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
