i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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