You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
