Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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