So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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