I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
