The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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