go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
