she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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