? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
