he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
