i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
