Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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