I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
