I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
