I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
