it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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