I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
