doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
