guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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