were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
