Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
