She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
