you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
