you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
