Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
