Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
