the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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