I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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