Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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