Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
