East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
