and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
