Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
