is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
