I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just threw up on my dentist
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
